{ I cannot make my own because the goddamn store does not sell fucking tahini }

This little fat fucking kid and his stupid fucking friend are not looking where they are running in the crosswalk so I let the fat one slam into my shoulder and maybe I dipped a little into him and he crashes to the asphalt and his backpack splits open and all his books and papers spill onto the street and I feel like my good deed is done for the day, hard lesson learned for the young one, because look I am carrying plastic bags filled with groceries like hummus and stupid expensive cheeses and imported beer and shit like that and he almost cracked my organic omega-3 free-range eggs so fuck (!) him (!) he has to learn sometime, and at the door to my building a pizza guy is buzzing someone who is not answering and this fat bitch is standing on the other side of the door while this guy is carrying a stack of pizzas that towers over his head and my hands are full with bell peppers and grape tomatoes and hummus (!) fucking hummus (!) and she watches the whole fucking time while Mr. Bicycle Helmet buzzes and I fumble for my keys and she is just watching like it is impossible for her to open the fucking door because we might be goddamn terrorists and this lock is a bitch to open and I jiggle and jerk it with my key and coax it like a clit until it clicks open and I hold the door for the pizza guy and he nods in thanks and this asshole woman asks him where he is going and he says the apartment number and she says that is my apartment (!) what a cunt (!) and she says he can lug the pizzas up with her (!) instead of just taking them from him and I press the button for the elevator even though my hands are full of bags and I go check my mail which is right fucking next to the elevator and I come back and the door is sliding shut and this bitch does not move a fat finger to catch it so the pizza guy drops his pizza bag and reaches past her to catch the door for me and I mumble thank you with the mail in my teeth and stare at her fat face and hit the button for my floor and the pizza smells great and I say the pizza is making me hungry and the mail falls out of my mouth and this dude smiles even though I do not think he speaks much English and the elevator door opens and I kick my mail off and a couple envelopes fall into the shaft and who fucking cares they were probably bills because they are (!) all (!) bills and I walk out and think about how some hot girl I know and want to fuck even though she would be terrible for me is dating some new asshole and this other girl I was seeing and am tired of fucking will not return my texts and I do not know why and do not really care and I am a little sad and everything is just the way it is supposed to be and it always was is will be and hummus is delicious.


~O~