: EVERY MOMENT IS LOVELY, YES :

I came in your social networking status update's mouth

I don’t know about you but I spend about 15 hours a day or more staring into a glowing HAL9000 computer monitor or tiny HAL9000 laptop screen. iPhone at all times in between. It never stops. I hate Facebook, but I’m on it. MySpace is dead finally, thankfully. I hate Twitter the most, but I’m on it. Work demands it, all the social networking, which feels like eating Twinkies filled with Twinkies filled with Twinkies all day long. My boss got shit-canned, found out right before I left this afternoon. Kids and a mortgage. It wasn’t an economy thing, it was a performance/right fit thing. But now I have this weird feeling like something else bad is about to happen. To me. Like I’m the black guy in a horror movie. Like I’m a white girl with fake tits having sex and moaning way too loudly in a horror movie. Horror movies are like being on the Internet all day and people updating their status with “I just went to the grocery store” “I just had a sip of water” “Dickhole Jones just took the Which Breakfast Cereal Are You Quiz.” I updated my status: “Otto M. Attiq just raped your mother.” Nobody LOL’d. Someone commented, said take my angst elsewhere, that I risked “irrelevance in Facebook’s paradigm” or some such shit, so I raped his mother and Tweeted it live and I felt better.


~O~

2 x like a billion = how much I love you:

xTx said...

i concur with every one of these sentences.


word verification: outboun

Mermaids Singing said...

stop raping my mother already! she said it tickled.

{ SIGN UP FOR E-MAIL NOTIFICATION }

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

{ THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT }

Labels